Greetings to all!
Well, #4 entered the world last night! Jacob William Cantrell entered the world weighing in at 8lbs 11oz and 20in long. Mom and Jacob are doing great! Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers, God Bless you all!!!! I uploaded some pictures to my flickr account. If you would like to check it out go to www.flickr.com/photos/cantrellkids We love and appreciate all you have contined to pray for our little famly!
Much Love,
The Cantrells
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Jacob's Echo
Greetings to all! Well we just finished up with the second Echocardiogram and the doctor has said from what she can see Jacobs little heart has no major anomalies and for Ali to go and enjoy the rest of her pregnancy!!!! Praise God, Praise God, Praise God! Work is crazy so I can’t write more but I will have a more detailed update here tomorrow. Thank You Thank You Thank You for all of you prayers!
Prayers Today
Greetings to all! Just a reminder that today is Jacob's cardiologist appointment. We will get the hospital between 1:30-2:00. I will update the blog this afternoon once we are all finished. Thank you for your continued faithfulness to our little family!
Much Love,
The Cantrells
Much Love,
The Cantrells
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Jacob's Echocardiogram
Greetings to all! Wow, the emotion that today has brought was a little more than we expected to be honest. We went in today for an echocardiogram of Jacob's little heart with the cardiologist, Cate's old doctor. As I drove into the parking lot there was the eerie feeling of nostalgia and fear. I missed having a car seat in the backseat of my truck with a little girl in it and at the same time I was faced with the fear of the possibility of having to do this all over again with Jacob. As Ali's van pulled into the parking lot I could tell that she had been crying. She got out and as we starting walking towards the building I asked her, "you doing ok?" and right then she fell apart in my arms. We stood in the parking lot of a hospital holding each other as we had done so many times before and my heart once again felt so helpless. The only words I could muster to pray were, "Jesus, we trust in you" and then to hold my wife close to me as her motherly heart relived so many painful experiences that it had endured over the past two and half years. I asked her if we could pray, to which she said yes. We stood in the parking of the hospital once again, asking for protection, peace, and healing. Then just as we had walked out of the hospital the day Cate died, we walked into another one today, hand in hand.
Ali laid down on the bed and the doctor came in to begin in the echo. It was as though all of time hung in the balance as the computer screen became black and white with movement and small little Jacob's body parts coming in and out of focus. Then the four little chambers of Jacob's heart came in to view and it was go time. It felt like this was going to be the deciding moment that would determine what the next few months and possibly years to come would be like. As I stood peering over the doctors shoulder with my hand on Ali's leg I felt like I knew a little more this time about what I was looking for and what questions needed to be asked. The doctor was able to look at all the chambers and the size of each one. She was able to see the blood flow in and out of the heart. She then started looking for the aortic arch which felt like it took her about five years to find and just built anxiety in the room that could be cut with a knife. It seemed like the exam took hours when in all actuality it probably took twenty to thirty minutes.
The doctor then explained to us that from what she could see the heart was growing and developing as it should be and that he had a strong heart beat. She explained to us that this procedure due to the baby size and the fact that he was in utero could not possibly see everything. She also said that she was not able to see the entire aortic arch or the entirety of the artery itself, SO, we are having to scheduling ANOTHER, echo at an LSU hospital in order for her to be able to look at his heart on a bigger machine. I asked if we should be freaking out and not sleeping over this second appointment and she said no, that if she had been able to see major issues that we would be going today. She also told us due to the fact that the heart performs differently outside mommy's tummy because right now mommy is breathing for the baby, that we would have to bring him back after he was born for her to look at him again.
In many aspects it felt like one of Cate's doctor's appointments, good news tempered with the reality of the fragility of life. So once again we are laying our trust and hope at the feet of Christ. There was NO BAD NEWS today, but when you so wanting so badly to hear, "everything looks great, go enjoy the rest of your pregnancy," and you don't, it does take some of the wind out your sails, you know? I want to thank everyone for the out pouring of prays for Jacob, Ali, and I in the days leading up to today and today. We ask that you continue to be vigilant in intercession for Jacob and our little family. Our next appointment will be on Wednesday August 19th as far as we know. If anything changes we will let you know.
Much Love, The Cantrells
Ali laid down on the bed and the doctor came in to begin in the echo. It was as though all of time hung in the balance as the computer screen became black and white with movement and small little Jacob's body parts coming in and out of focus. Then the four little chambers of Jacob's heart came in to view and it was go time. It felt like this was going to be the deciding moment that would determine what the next few months and possibly years to come would be like. As I stood peering over the doctors shoulder with my hand on Ali's leg I felt like I knew a little more this time about what I was looking for and what questions needed to be asked. The doctor was able to look at all the chambers and the size of each one. She was able to see the blood flow in and out of the heart. She then started looking for the aortic arch which felt like it took her about five years to find and just built anxiety in the room that could be cut with a knife. It seemed like the exam took hours when in all actuality it probably took twenty to thirty minutes.
The doctor then explained to us that from what she could see the heart was growing and developing as it should be and that he had a strong heart beat. She explained to us that this procedure due to the baby size and the fact that he was in utero could not possibly see everything. She also said that she was not able to see the entire aortic arch or the entirety of the artery itself, SO, we are having to scheduling ANOTHER, echo at an LSU hospital in order for her to be able to look at his heart on a bigger machine. I asked if we should be freaking out and not sleeping over this second appointment and she said no, that if she had been able to see major issues that we would be going today. She also told us due to the fact that the heart performs differently outside mommy's tummy because right now mommy is breathing for the baby, that we would have to bring him back after he was born for her to look at him again.
In many aspects it felt like one of Cate's doctor's appointments, good news tempered with the reality of the fragility of life. So once again we are laying our trust and hope at the feet of Christ. There was NO BAD NEWS today, but when you so wanting so badly to hear, "everything looks great, go enjoy the rest of your pregnancy," and you don't, it does take some of the wind out your sails, you know? I want to thank everyone for the out pouring of prays for Jacob, Ali, and I in the days leading up to today and today. We ask that you continue to be vigilant in intercession for Jacob and our little family. Our next appointment will be on Wednesday August 19th as far as we know. If anything changes we will let you know.
Much Love, The Cantrells
Thursday, June 25, 2009
A Cate Sized Hole
Greetings to all! As yesterday had gotten closer and closer my feelings have been a mixed bag of tricks. It is extremely hard to believe that it has been a full year since our precious Cate left this earthly life and began her eternal one. Our little family has been on the ride of its life over the past 365 days. There were truly days where I did not know if we would make it through as a family and then there have been days that I cannot imagine how much more I can love my wife and children and I know that they are an essential part of my healing.
As I drove to Thibodaux, Louisiana the other morning for work there was a true feeling of freedom and even a true sense of happiness. These two feelings are not ones that I have had in quite a while so I began to explore them by simply asking God why I was feeling like this. It just had come out of no where so I was not really sure what was initiating the sudden onset of a joyful experience. The words, “You’ve made it” came to my heart, oh, yes, the sweet words that I have wanted and needed to hear. Is all well? No, not completely. Do I not miss Cate dearly? All the time! But I truly feel like with yesterday brought a true sense of freedom from that “first year.” I feel like as I look at my family I realize that we are not the same Cantrell’s we were a year ago, but I like some of the new aspects that I see in who we are as a family unit. I enjoy that I truly try to say yes to my kids more than no, not in the spoiling sense of “things” they may want but when they ask to do puzzles, swing, or play chase in the backyard. I enjoy that after struggling, clawing, fighting, crying and yelling, that Ali and I are beginning to come to a new place in our marriage that we have never been before, a place of deep honest mutual love and understanding.
One of the greatest joys that Ali and I have experienced over the past year is the love and resiliency of Ella and Dude. They have had their little worlds turn upside down and yet they continue to amaze me at the joy they possess and how loving they are! Ali and I were sitting outside the other day watching the two of them play on the slip-n-slide in our backyard when we realized that it was a year ago that we were playing in the backyard with Cate and we took the pictures of her in the pool with the kids and the ones of her sitting in the bumbo seat with food all over precious little face. I told Ali that the thing that I feel like is the largest testimony for me of who our family is, is who our children are today even with all they have been through over the past year. During the summer I speak at a series of Catholic youth conferences that are held around the country. I spoke at the first one two weeks ago and my family got to come with me, WHAT A BLESSING!!! After the weekend the coordinator of the conference called me on the Monday morning just to tell me how special our children are and the way that they love is so special. That phone call was such a confirmation for Ali and I from God that we are “ok” that our kids are “ok” and that with all the heartache over the loss of Cate that Ella and Dude have experienced that God has filled their little hearts with love.
Yesterday on the anniversary of Cate’s passing we did the same thing we did on the day Cate died, we celebrated our family. We all loaded up in the truck and went to our favorite local flower shop where the kids picked out the balloons and flowers that they wanted to give to Cate. After leaving the flowers shop we went to the cemetery to “Cate’s sign” where we released the balloons and gave her the flowers that the kids had picked out for her. The sweetest thing happened while we were there, Ella had gotten back in the truck because she was hot and Dude was wondering around looking at other people’s signs and Ali and I stood there having a quiet cry. I hollered at Dude that it was time to go he ran over to us, stopped in front of Cate’s sign, blew her a kiss and continued on the way to the truck. Wow, the tears just streamed down my face and my heart hurt for that little boy, but I was so proud of him for still loving on his sister!
We have made it through this year as a family and we will remain a family. As we prepare for our new arrival in November we know that Cate is still and always will be an active member of our family, in fact, Ella is so excited because now there will be three girls, Mommy, Ella, and Cate and three boys, Daddy, Dude, and Baby Boy Cantrell #2! We want to thank all of you who have and continue to lift our little family up in prayer, we would not be where we are today if it were not for those prayers and still need them alot. All of your cards, letters, gifts, and emails that you all have sent over the past year have reminded us of how loved and supported we were and are and you will never know how much that has meant to us.
On June 24, 2008 a Cate sized hole was left in the heart of our family and though she will never be replaced, God has poured a whole lot of love and grace into such a broken place. We have not done it perfectly by any means, but there is such a joy in my heart to know that we have done it together. Our family is stronger, our family is more loving, our family understands that God never abandoned us through this process and we remain a family journeying in hope. Thank you God for Cate’s life, for her love, and thank you Cate for all the prayers that your innocent little mouth has whispered into the ear of the Father for your family here on earth. We love you and miss you kid and we can’t wait to see you soon!
Much Love,
The Cantrells
As I drove to Thibodaux, Louisiana the other morning for work there was a true feeling of freedom and even a true sense of happiness. These two feelings are not ones that I have had in quite a while so I began to explore them by simply asking God why I was feeling like this. It just had come out of no where so I was not really sure what was initiating the sudden onset of a joyful experience. The words, “You’ve made it” came to my heart, oh, yes, the sweet words that I have wanted and needed to hear. Is all well? No, not completely. Do I not miss Cate dearly? All the time! But I truly feel like with yesterday brought a true sense of freedom from that “first year.” I feel like as I look at my family I realize that we are not the same Cantrell’s we were a year ago, but I like some of the new aspects that I see in who we are as a family unit. I enjoy that I truly try to say yes to my kids more than no, not in the spoiling sense of “things” they may want but when they ask to do puzzles, swing, or play chase in the backyard. I enjoy that after struggling, clawing, fighting, crying and yelling, that Ali and I are beginning to come to a new place in our marriage that we have never been before, a place of deep honest mutual love and understanding.
One of the greatest joys that Ali and I have experienced over the past year is the love and resiliency of Ella and Dude. They have had their little worlds turn upside down and yet they continue to amaze me at the joy they possess and how loving they are! Ali and I were sitting outside the other day watching the two of them play on the slip-n-slide in our backyard when we realized that it was a year ago that we were playing in the backyard with Cate and we took the pictures of her in the pool with the kids and the ones of her sitting in the bumbo seat with food all over precious little face. I told Ali that the thing that I feel like is the largest testimony for me of who our family is, is who our children are today even with all they have been through over the past year. During the summer I speak at a series of Catholic youth conferences that are held around the country. I spoke at the first one two weeks ago and my family got to come with me, WHAT A BLESSING!!! After the weekend the coordinator of the conference called me on the Monday morning just to tell me how special our children are and the way that they love is so special. That phone call was such a confirmation for Ali and I from God that we are “ok” that our kids are “ok” and that with all the heartache over the loss of Cate that Ella and Dude have experienced that God has filled their little hearts with love.
Yesterday on the anniversary of Cate’s passing we did the same thing we did on the day Cate died, we celebrated our family. We all loaded up in the truck and went to our favorite local flower shop where the kids picked out the balloons and flowers that they wanted to give to Cate. After leaving the flowers shop we went to the cemetery to “Cate’s sign” where we released the balloons and gave her the flowers that the kids had picked out for her. The sweetest thing happened while we were there, Ella had gotten back in the truck because she was hot and Dude was wondering around looking at other people’s signs and Ali and I stood there having a quiet cry. I hollered at Dude that it was time to go he ran over to us, stopped in front of Cate’s sign, blew her a kiss and continued on the way to the truck. Wow, the tears just streamed down my face and my heart hurt for that little boy, but I was so proud of him for still loving on his sister!
We have made it through this year as a family and we will remain a family. As we prepare for our new arrival in November we know that Cate is still and always will be an active member of our family, in fact, Ella is so excited because now there will be three girls, Mommy, Ella, and Cate and three boys, Daddy, Dude, and Baby Boy Cantrell #2! We want to thank all of you who have and continue to lift our little family up in prayer, we would not be where we are today if it were not for those prayers and still need them alot. All of your cards, letters, gifts, and emails that you all have sent over the past year have reminded us of how loved and supported we were and are and you will never know how much that has meant to us.
On June 24, 2008 a Cate sized hole was left in the heart of our family and though she will never be replaced, God has poured a whole lot of love and grace into such a broken place. We have not done it perfectly by any means, but there is such a joy in my heart to know that we have done it together. Our family is stronger, our family is more loving, our family understands that God never abandoned us through this process and we remain a family journeying in hope. Thank you God for Cate’s life, for her love, and thank you Cate for all the prayers that your innocent little mouth has whispered into the ear of the Father for your family here on earth. We love you and miss you kid and we can’t wait to see you soon!
Much Love,
The Cantrells
Friday, April 3, 2009
Back in the Saddle
Greetings to all!! Well, we are back in the saddle guys and gals and you all may be thinking I am talking about the blog, well that too, but one week ago today I found out that little Cantrell number four has made its entrance into the world, that’s right, Ali is PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!! Ok, I will give you a minute to go get some tissue if you need to gather yourself. You read it right the first time, the Cantrell’s are having another baby!!!!!! Wow, is right, as the words “there is something I need to tell you” came out of Ali’s mouth last Friday night as we sat waiting on friends to meet us, the absolute last ones that I thought would follow would be, “I’m pregnant.” I was expecting, our electric bill was real high, the cats pooped on your favorite shirt, dude ate your favorite shirt. As the words I’m pregnant rolled off of her tongue, I felt all the blood leave my face, I took a long sip of the cold beer that sat in front of me, still not sure if it was mine, and said, Wow, I am so excited, not really meaning that at all, I just didn’t know what else to say at that very moment. And then she followed it by and you can’t say anything to our friends yet, WHAT!!!! Ok, now I have to act like everything is normal when my head is spinning around on my shoulders. Women, that is so typical of you all to do something like that in public that way we can’t freak out and then say, and oh yeah, we can’t talk about it. You are such interesting creatures.
We went to the doctor on Monday for an ultrasound. I saw the little blob on the screen and immediately saw the little beating heart, WOW, what a miracle uh, 8 weeks old and I am watching its little heart beat on a black and white screen. I told Ali that it couldn’t be mine, it looks nothing like me. I asked the nurse if she could print me out a picture to carry around in my truck to remind me that my wife is PREGNANT, and yes we know how it happens, apparently we just like how it happens, especially in February, now that three of our four children will have November birthdays. New rule in the Cantrell house, in February mom or dad moves out, for the MONTH. We met with Dr. Rose and she said that everything looks good right now and that the chances of us having another heart baby are low, but around twenty weeks she wants us to go see a Cardiologist for her to look at Baby Cantrell’s heart, so we need you guys again to be praying for a healthy heart please!
We told Ella and Dude last night, they screamed and hollered at the dinner table. Ella laughed hysterically but you could tell it was with a twinge of nervousness. She quickly proclaimed that it was a boy, we reminded her that we did not know yet what God had given us, but daddy was really hoping it was a PUPPY. This morning Ella wanted to bring the ultrasounds picture with her to school to show everyone her new sibling. Can you picture that a bunch of pre-k’ers huddled around an ultrasound picture of a Uterus trying to figure out what it is! We had not even gotten off our street before she had told someone that, “Mommy has a baby in her tummy!” and when the lady who was opening the doors in the carpool line opened the door, there was Ella standing up tall, holding the picture declaring loudly that, her mommy was pregnant. I am sure by this afternoon our small town will be buzzing with, “Did you hear, the Cantrell’s are pregnant!”
Is there fear? YES, there is fear, but I cannot and do not want to let that fear run my life. I write this blog almost two years to the day that we found out when Ali was pregnant for Cate that we might lose her in Utero and that there was something developmentally not right. The past two years have been a long road for this little family. Is this a little sooner than I would have liked to welcome another child into our family, maybe, but, maybe it is the perfect time. Maybe as we begin to close the chapter of mind numbing pain from the loss of Cate, God can open the next chapter of fruitful love in the life of the Cantrell’s. I am ready to get back in the saddle of love and new life, I am ready to welcome this baby knowing that its big sister Cate has her hand on its every move. As I sat on the back step the other night crying to Cate, telling her that I didn’t know if I was ready to move on and that I was scared of the possibilities of this baby have heart problems to and asking her, “Cate, please pray for me, but pray and watch over your new little brother or sister.” I kid you not, in my heart of hearts I heard her snicker at me and say “Dad, I am so sure! I am not going anywhere, your not “moving on” and stop worrying I am already on it” and I had a vision of her rolling her eyes! It was AWESOME, I love that little girl.
Well, here we go again, back in the saddle of welcoming children into the world of the Cantrell’s. We need you guys, I know you all have been praying even though we have not been writing and you will never know how encouraging it is to get comments on the blogs just saying that you are still here and still praying even though we haven’t written in months. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Please add this new Baby Cantrell to your list and we will keep you up to date as we journey through this pregnancy and as we prepare our hearts to meet this new son or daughter and welcome them joyfully into our little family. God bless you all and thank you for the prayers.
Much Love,
The Cantrells
We went to the doctor on Monday for an ultrasound. I saw the little blob on the screen and immediately saw the little beating heart, WOW, what a miracle uh, 8 weeks old and I am watching its little heart beat on a black and white screen. I told Ali that it couldn’t be mine, it looks nothing like me. I asked the nurse if she could print me out a picture to carry around in my truck to remind me that my wife is PREGNANT, and yes we know how it happens, apparently we just like how it happens, especially in February, now that three of our four children will have November birthdays. New rule in the Cantrell house, in February mom or dad moves out, for the MONTH. We met with Dr. Rose and she said that everything looks good right now and that the chances of us having another heart baby are low, but around twenty weeks she wants us to go see a Cardiologist for her to look at Baby Cantrell’s heart, so we need you guys again to be praying for a healthy heart please!
We told Ella and Dude last night, they screamed and hollered at the dinner table. Ella laughed hysterically but you could tell it was with a twinge of nervousness. She quickly proclaimed that it was a boy, we reminded her that we did not know yet what God had given us, but daddy was really hoping it was a PUPPY. This morning Ella wanted to bring the ultrasounds picture with her to school to show everyone her new sibling. Can you picture that a bunch of pre-k’ers huddled around an ultrasound picture of a Uterus trying to figure out what it is! We had not even gotten off our street before she had told someone that, “Mommy has a baby in her tummy!” and when the lady who was opening the doors in the carpool line opened the door, there was Ella standing up tall, holding the picture declaring loudly that, her mommy was pregnant. I am sure by this afternoon our small town will be buzzing with, “Did you hear, the Cantrell’s are pregnant!”
Is there fear? YES, there is fear, but I cannot and do not want to let that fear run my life. I write this blog almost two years to the day that we found out when Ali was pregnant for Cate that we might lose her in Utero and that there was something developmentally not right. The past two years have been a long road for this little family. Is this a little sooner than I would have liked to welcome another child into our family, maybe, but, maybe it is the perfect time. Maybe as we begin to close the chapter of mind numbing pain from the loss of Cate, God can open the next chapter of fruitful love in the life of the Cantrell’s. I am ready to get back in the saddle of love and new life, I am ready to welcome this baby knowing that its big sister Cate has her hand on its every move. As I sat on the back step the other night crying to Cate, telling her that I didn’t know if I was ready to move on and that I was scared of the possibilities of this baby have heart problems to and asking her, “Cate, please pray for me, but pray and watch over your new little brother or sister.” I kid you not, in my heart of hearts I heard her snicker at me and say “Dad, I am so sure! I am not going anywhere, your not “moving on” and stop worrying I am already on it” and I had a vision of her rolling her eyes! It was AWESOME, I love that little girl.
Well, here we go again, back in the saddle of welcoming children into the world of the Cantrell’s. We need you guys, I know you all have been praying even though we have not been writing and you will never know how encouraging it is to get comments on the blogs just saying that you are still here and still praying even though we haven’t written in months. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Please add this new Baby Cantrell to your list and we will keep you up to date as we journey through this pregnancy and as we prepare our hearts to meet this new son or daughter and welcome them joyfully into our little family. God bless you all and thank you for the prayers.
Much Love,
The Cantrells
Monday, March 23, 2009
Raffle Tickets
Greetings to All!
I had a question asked in the comments of the last blog about the Healing
House. Yes, you can still buy tickets through me. Make the checks payable
to the Healing House and you can mail them to me at:
Charlie Cantrell
P.O. Box 52978
Lafayette, La 70505
Once I receive your check I will send your ticket stubs with
a Big Ole Louisiana Thank You from Dude and Ella personally.
Thanks again to all who have bought raffle tickets so far,
wow, you guys blow me away!!!!!! The Healing House truly is
such a blessing to our children so for yall to support it you
are directly supporting Dude and Ella and other kiddos who have
losted love ones.
Much Love,
Charlie
I had a question asked in the comments of the last blog about the Healing
House. Yes, you can still buy tickets through me. Make the checks payable
to the Healing House and you can mail them to me at:
Charlie Cantrell
P.O. Box 52978
Lafayette, La 70505
Once I receive your check I will send your ticket stubs with
a Big Ole Louisiana Thank You from Dude and Ella personally.
Thanks again to all who have bought raffle tickets so far,
wow, you guys blow me away!!!!!! The Healing House truly is
such a blessing to our children so for yall to support it you
are directly supporting Dude and Ella and other kiddos who have
losted love ones.
Much Love,
Charlie
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